Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
