nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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