I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
