Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am mentally ready for anal.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
