Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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