quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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