i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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