i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
