Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
