I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
