I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
