Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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