so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
