If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
