hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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