my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
