CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
