I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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