It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
