i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize