Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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