you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
