Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
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I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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