toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
