The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
