dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
