Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My penis needs a shock collar
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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