was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
