I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I stole a fireplace last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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