I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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