WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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