In the future we'll all be gay
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How naked do you want me to be?
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