What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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