How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
