I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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