you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
