never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
