she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
