just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
