Buhtt sex?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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