ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
