This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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