put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
