he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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