I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize