Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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