Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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