oh god the rape fog is back!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
please don't ironically join a cult
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