How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
