Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
