I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
