i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
