My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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