I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
