I think my fart just growled at me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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