She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I just got motorboated by my grandmaâ€¦