I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
