shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize