Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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