Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize