3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Two words: nipple clamps
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