I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
