Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
