singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize