I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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