they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
