It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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