Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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