Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
