and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
